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Amherst News
December 2003
CLUB DIARY
Wednesday Meetings
17 December, Club Christmas Party
(24 and 31 December - No Meetings)
7 January, Business Meeting
14 January, We host a speaker from the German Embassy
21 January, An Amherst evening - to be announced
28 January, Speaker John Foster, a Rotarian. Subject – Malaria
Service and Social Diary
12 January, Lunch time raid on Roubaix
19 January, District Council Meeting at Hadlow
6 March, "Adventures in the Hop Field" A film show at Bradbourne School
3 April, Stroke Awareness Day
Easter Week, Medway Handicamp
12 April, District Council Meeting at Hadlow
16-17 April, Lille district contact Clubs event
President Harvey Speaks
It
was very good to meet Victoria Hook when she visited us during a break from
her third year at Loughborough University. She had asked us for help in finding
books for Look Out Primary School who have a library but not a single book.
The intriguing bit is that the school is on the active volcanic island of Montserrat.
Victoria has the contacts on the island so we should be able to help.
A
steady drizzle and cold temperatures seemed appropriate for the Remembrance
Day Parade on Sunday the 9th. We wreath bearers were not entirely sure what
to do next. Fortunately out front there was one person who knew just how matters
should proceed and it was a great pleasure to greet him at our meeting on the
19th. Harry Garrett's long term contributions to the Royal British Legion make
him a most worthy recipient of our Community Service Award this year.
After
the presentation Judith Armstrong, Regional Co-ordinator, spoke emphasizing
the fact that age is catching up with the dedicated team of Poppy sellers. They
are experiencing great difficulty finding young replacements. She reminded us
that 1968 was the only year since the Second World War that no British serviceman
has been killed on active duty. The need for the services of the British Legion
does not diminish.
Our Children in Need collection was one week early this year but we still managed
over £600 in one day. Statistical analysis revealed that the wearer of the clown
costume collected 20% more than his unadorned colleague!
Service Above Self was demonstrated by Geoff's team who collected at Polhill
Garden Centre for Save the Children on the last weekend of the month. Even the
more hard-bitten members of the public took pity on Eric, putting some coins
in his can as he stood outside wearing full waterproofs in wind-driven rain
for 2 hours,
So we
moved on to December. Many thanks to all those members and friends who helped
to collect Boots tokens. We now have 8 smashing soft toys to donate to Demelza
House Children's Hospice.
This newsletter is published at our Christmas party so here's wishing everyone a very Happy Christmas and a fruitful New Year.
Officers 2004-5
The following have been duly elected and will take up their duties on 1 July next:
President Gordon Johnston
First Vice President Philip Spicer
Second Vice President Derek Williams
Secretary Ken Arthur
Treasurer Eric Matkins
Club Council Bill Brickell, Colin Hook, Don Ingram Tony Kemp, Mike Parkinson, Graham Waldeck
If we might say so, a nice blend of continuity and innovation.
WE WILL REMEMBER THEM
Each year, at the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month the British tradition is to remember all those who gave their lives in warfare to preserve democracy as we know it.
On days leading up to November the eleventh we see the reproduced Poppies of Flanders being sold for the Royal British Legion, a cause founded to assist those who suffer as the result of War.
The Rotary Club of Amherst Community Service Award for 2003 has been awarded to 84-year-old Harry Garret to record our admiration for his continuing to live the tradition of Service to the Community, having himself - in an eventful life, and served gallantly in each theatre of the second world war, from 1939 until 1945.
Since the end of the War, Harry with thousands of other volunteers up and down the country freely gives his time and effort to remind us of the great gift of life we continue to enjoy because of men and women who died or were wounded as the result of war.
Himself collecting over £3000 again this year, selling poppies in his British Legion uniform, he is a familiar sight around Sevenoaks. But his efforts have also been recognised at County and National level by many times being awarded honorary positions in the Legion's ranks and by taking part in BBC TVs memorial programmes in Northern France.
Harry is a fitting reminder of the debt we all owe those who Served. He fulfils many other roles in the Community but it is principally 'Poppy Days' that we associate with him. Well done Sir!
On the evening that we honoured Harry Garret we also learned from Judith Armstrong, the new Fund Raising Organiser for Kent of the background and work of the Legion and of the need for new blood to continue this work throughout the Country. Perhaps we can find volunteers for the period leading up to November 11 next year? That would be a practical show of SERVICE.
Mike
Talking of service, Tony’s Committee has recently organised a couple of cross-Channel school visits. There was the visit to Roubaix by Sevenoaks County Primary School, which we reported last month, and most recently the visit to Dorton House by children from the school for the visually impaired near Roubaix. Read on ….
Rapping and Wrapping
The entente cordiale between Dorton House Students and their peers from the ERD near Roubaix is alive and well!
Dawn Patroller Roy helped to convey the 7 boys, 4 girls and 4 staff from Ashford International Station and the group arrived in Sevenoaks by 11.30.
During their four-and-a-half hour plus visit they worked together in groups and wrapped Christmas Crackers; recorded a CD of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" with "solo"verses; "rapped" a number of tunes and enjoyed lunch together.
Mary Berg - who coordinated the visit from Dorton House - reports they "… all did really well and tried hard with each other's language and were motivated by the experience" and that Amherst's input "was most welcome"
I did the twilight return run with an enthusiastic group - clutching their crackers and CDs – and many of them wanted to stay longer! The French staff spoke of the interest by Roubaix Rotarians and hopefully with further involvement by the two Clubs we can build on the success of this visit.
Tony
A number of “thank you” letters have been received from the children who went to France from Sevenoaks Primary School. We don’t have space to publish them all but they can go on the notice board. In the meantime, “Zoë’s Report on France” can stand for them all. It is published just as written except for the names (because we publish on the internet).
Zoë’s Report on France
(We) went to France to visit a French school called St. Francis of Assizes, which were opening their new computer suite. At first we were listening to some speeches then (we children) got a tour by 5 French children around the school and only 1 of them could speak English then we had lunch it was chicken, pasta and salad and for pudding it was some fruit and I don’t know what the pink stuff was, we had some bread and cheese. After lunch we went to some classes and they asked us some questions and we asked them some questions. In 1 of the classes we taught them a song in English. I thought that the school was interesting and weird. Soon it was time to go home but the main thing is that it was fun.
We are the champions????
Westerham were our hosts and opponents for the first round of the District Quiz held at the Parkwood Golf Club Tatsfield on Tuesday 18th November.
District Foundation Chairman Noel Tatt has changed the format of the Quiz this year in an attempt to widen its appeal and encourage more participants. With an entry fee of £3 per person he is hoping to raise some cash for Foundation.
Partners and friends could be included in the teams of six people per table as long as each table included two Rotarians, with no limit to the number of tables each club could enter. The only proviso was that only one team would count in the competition.
After an excellent meal we had to nominate our competition-counting table. It was decided that Geoff, Linda, Graham, Jane, Harvey and Albert would carry all the responsibility of winning. Table two included Mike and Jean, Derek and Eileen, Mel and Eric.
All questions were multiple choice and it soon became apparent that we had chosen the right group to represent the Club. After round two Geoff's table was in the lead from Westerham's first team, At this point Mike's table were in second position but this was not to last Going into the penultimate round the brains of Amherst had a clear lead over Westerham and after eight rounds were the winners 47 points to 40 .
In my opinion this was a very good social evening and worth repeating, although the quiz was not too serious.
Derek
HOW TO COOK A HUSBAND
A good many husbands are utterly spoiled by mismanagement. Some women keep them constantly in hot water; others let them freeze by their carelessness and
indifference. Some keep them in a stew by irritating ways and words. Others roast them; some keep them in a pickle all their lives. It cannot be supposed that any husband will be tender and good managed in this way, but they are really delicious when properly treated.
In selecting your husband you should not be guided by the silvery appearance, as in buying mackerel, nor by the golden tint, as if you wanted salmon. Be sure and select him yourself, as tastes differ.
Don't go to the market for him as the best are always brought to your door. It is far better to have none unless you know how to cook him. A preserving kettle of fine porcelain is best, but if you have nothing but an earthenware pipkin, it will do, with care.
See that the linen in which you wrap him is nicely washed and mended, with the required number of buttons and strings nicely sewed on. Tie him in the kettle by a strong silk cord called comfort, as the one called duty is apt to be weak and they are apt to fly out of the kettle and be burned and crusty on the edges, since like crabs and lobsters you have to cook them alive.
Make a clear, steady fire out of love, nearness and cheerfulness. Set him as near this as seems to agree with him. If he sputters and fizzles, do not be anxious; some husbands do this till they are quite done. Add a little sugar in the form of what confectioners call kisses, but no vinegar or pepper on any account; a little spice improves them, but it must be used with judgement.
Do not stick any sharp instruments into him to see if he is becoming tender. Stir him gently; watch the while, lest he lie too flat and too close to the kettle, and so become useless. You cannot fail to know when he is done.
If thus treated you will find him very digestible, agreeing nicely with you and the children, and he will keep as long as you want, unless you become careless and set him in too cold a place.
Eric
AMHERST INNER WHEEL
In October we entertained friends and Rotary Wives to an evening with "The Pampered Chef" at Dee’s home. We watched a cookery demonstration in which the Chef used some advanced cookery equipment available for sale. It was a chance to up date one’s ancient kitchen implements, as well as sampling some tasty goodies.
In November, following a meal at Ena's home, our speaker Denise Brebden told us about five years she and her family had spent living in Alaska - very exciting and entertaining if somewhat chilly.
The last meeting in 2003 was our Christmas Dinner with husbands as our guests at St Julians.
Ena
A Christmas Story
The Victorians virtually invented Christmas as we know it, but the tradition of the fireside spooky or sentimental story is as old as the fireside itself.
So cast more logs on the dying embers, and shiver at the flickering shadows in dark corners and the scrape of wind-blown twigs on the rain-wet window panes…..
Something Special For Christmas
I always remember him at this time of the year, we were close friends for a while. That was over sixty years ago but I still vividly recall that last evening. "Don't fancy yours too much, Sprog" he had said grinning at me over the rim of his glass. We'd been eyeing these two girls in the bar and, claiming seniority of age and rank, Lofty had chosen. "I wish you'd give me first choice sometimes" I complained.
"Not to worry Sprog" he had replied "It'll soon be Christmas and I'll see you get something special. Anyway" he continued "come ten clock you’ll find they're all lovely." As it happened I didn't find out; the Shore Patrol came in and ordered all the Crystal’s men back to the ship.
There had been a time when if Lofty went ashore at all it was the YMCA and cups of tea. "Remember I've got a missus and kids" he would say and we knew he sent her all the money he saved. Then the air raids on the major ports started. The men who were married with families, Lofty amongst them, were constantly worried. Following one particularly bad raid Lofty had applied for compassionate leave and when he rejoined the ship he looked terrible.
Nobody could get him to talk about it but we all surmised what had happened. He
changed completely: ashore at every possible occasion and all his money went straight into the brewers' pockets.
One day when we were doing punishment again, chipping rust off the ship's side Lofty suddenly said "You're not married, Sprog"? I shook my head. "You're lucky" he said "I wish I could change places with you. Perhaps I could have stopped it happening." It was as if he held himself responsible in some way, which I thought very strange.
I was remembering all this as we made our way back to the ship. We knew there must be something special on being recalled off shore leave so abruptly but, even as a stop gap, pitting an old destroyer against a battle-cruiser is just another name for murder. We hadn't a chance.
I clung onto the handholds of the Carley Float. The searing cold was bad enough but, covered in oil from the sunken ship, my eyes burned in their sockets and I retched continously. I'd about given up when Lofty thumped my shoulders. "Change places Sprog. I'll have a spell in the 'Oggin." I didn't argue. Someone pulled me aboard and Lofty took my place at the handholds.
The warmth of the hospital bed brought me round. About a dozen fellow survivors were in the ward. I didn't ask but the Cox'n told me that Lofty wasn't among them.
"You were a mate of his" he said "P’r'aps you'll write to his Missus."
"He doesn't have a wife" I said "she was killed in an air-raid." Chiefy shot me a quizzical look - "That what he told you? He had a wife alright only, she walked out on him - remember he had compassionate leave." Lungs scarred by diesel fuel, he coughed heavily and spat into the sputum bowl. "That's why he changed places with you, Sprog, he just didn't want to face up to the truth."
But I knew differently. Lofty had promised me something special for Christmas. I was still alive.
Some people will do anything to get their name in the paper.
(1)
Mirfield Reporter
21 November 2003.
“Mirfield Rotary Club
Members met this week to approve last year’s accounts and to elect officers for the forthcoming year.
Also present was Mr Philip Spicer, now living in Sevenoaks, and his son. Mr Spicer was renewing friendships in the club after an absence of over 10 years.”
(2)
The following paper is reprinted by kind permission of ‘Ypres’, the journal of the British Association of Paper Re-cycling.
LAMINA DISPLACEMENT AND CATASTROPHIC FAILURE IN PERSONAL TISSUE.
History.
Lamina displacement is a fairly recent phenomenon in the industry; prior to 1970 most personal tissue was a single lamina with a semi-glazed or even fully glazed surface, this was in itself a major advance on the previous most popular user/consumer solution. However, the introduction of a more absorbent tissue in the 1970’s necessitated a bi-laminate structure to achieve the structural integrity required to avoid digital penetration. However, lamina displacement, where this occurs, renders thebi-lamina product virtually useless to user/consumers.
Indications.
The consumer unit unrolls apparently normally except that the perforations on the lamina do not coincide; this occurs naturally in about 0.0459% of consumer units and is in itself a minor cause of complaints by user/consumers. The complainants believe that all lamina displacement of this kind is a manufacturing fault. Furthermore, this lamina displacement has been found through experiment to reduce the structural integrity of the apparent bi-laminate product by 28.746%. It is this structural failure, which is the major cause of complaints by user/consumers and is the result of lamina displacement caused mainly by user/consumer misuse of the product.
Background.
The average personal tissue consumer unit is composed of three main constituents,
1. Lamina A, a long narrow sheet of tissue, perforated at regular intervals, usually the same width as the cardboard tube, the perforations are usually approximately 13 to 14 centimetres apart, there are usually about one hundred perforations.
2. Lamina B, exactly similar to Lamina A.
3. An internal cardboard tube usually approximately 10 to 12 centimetres long and 3 to 4 centimetres in diameter, this is present to provide structural integrity to the consumer unit and has no other possible use except to mis-guided children’s television presenters.
In the production process lamina A and lamina B are brought together prior to the operation of rolling on to the internal cardboard tube.
The further stages of packaging for eventual retail sale are irrelevant to this paper, except in so far as the external packaging may provide part of the solution.
The way in which the lamina are brought together is important to the eventual structural integrity of the bi-lamina product. Bringing together correctly the two lamina forms a bond between what will eventually become the inside of lamina A to the outside of what will become lamina B. The fibres on the loose absorbent surface of one lamina attach to the fibres of the opposing lamina. This bond is in many respects similar to ‘Velcro’, except that it bears the same relationship to ‘Velcro’ as the weak nuclear force bears to the strong nuclear force or gravity bears to Electro/Magnetism. The strength of this bond is relevant to the structural integrity of the product and its resistance to digital penetration.
Lamina displacement is in the main not a manufacturing fault but a user/consumer induced condition. The frequency of the failure itself occurs in 1.287% of consumer units, as a result of consumer misuse. In total 1.333% of consumer units are affected by the problem of lamina displacement.
Thus consumer misuse is responsible for 96.43357% of lamina displacement and the consequential catastrophic failure. The user/consumer often in haste to start the consumer unit pays little attention to the way in which the consumer unit is sealed and aggressively rips it apart, in the process opening more than the first paired layer of the consumer unit, sometimes pulling one, three and even five lamina away, this is discarded and the user/consumer continues unrolling having removed a section of lamina A from the entire circumference of the consumer unit.
He or she is now removing a bi-lamina with instead of lamina A being outside lamina B lamina B is now outside lamina A, the perforations now no longer coincide and the weak bond between the lamina established during manufacture has been broken. The interstice between lamina B and lamina A is complete and there is reduced friction between the lamina as compared with the original formulation; this reduced friction allows one lamina to slide across the other and allows each lamina to act independently when a vertical pressure is applied against an unresisting surface thereby reducing resistance to penetration. As previously stated it has been found through experiment that the resistance of the lamina acting independently to penetration is 28.746% less than when lamina are acting together with the bonding unbroken.
Solutions.
It has been suggested that as this condition is mainly user/consumer induced that detailed instructions to assist the user/consumer with unwrapping, starting the consumer unit and placing the consumer unit in the appropriate container i.e. the ‘consumer unit holder’ should be provided on the outside of the consumer packaging. It has been noted, however, that these instructions would need to be on every consumer unit, which could well bring with it a new raft of problems involving non-smear ink. The most viable solution appears to be education by contact. To this end it is suggested that all manufacturers set up user/consumer help lines at newly established call centres either in Dublin, Edinburgh or the Indian sub-continent, thereby spreading the problem around. The following notes are appended to assist call centres in writing scripts in order to provide a worthwhile service.
· Open each consumer unit carefully.
· Re-roll the offending consumer unit carefully remove the outer lamina from the consumer unit for one and only one full circumference, remove the single lamina by tearing, the perforations should now coincide, if they do not continue removing lamina one perforation at a time until the perforations are seen to coincide.
· Purchase an economy pack of plastic gloves; an on-pack special offer could be popular.
· Throw the consumer unit away and start a new one (preferred action).
· Continue using the offending consumer unit until spent (least preferred action).
· Unroll the offending consumer unit and re-roll as two separate consumer units. Sic.
Sources and Bibliography.
A History of Re-cycling. (Ypres press).
Macro and micro problems in continuous process re-cycled tissue manufacture. (Paper to the 1999 conference, Professor Arnold Noidecker Ulysses Smith).
Interstitial dysfunction, use and abuse. (Paper to the 2001 conference author unknown).
Souvenir issues of Ypres are available printed on re-cycled semi-glazed tissue or top quality Daily Telegraph newsprint (remember the feeling!) at your convenience.
© Philip R Spicer 2003.
Club Council Meeting
1 December
President.
Paul Harris Fellowships: future awards will be at the discretion of the President but all members are welcome to make nominations.
Amherst Ohio Travel vouchers: applications will be sought from members.
Sheltered Shopping: a joint view with Sevenoaks Club would be sought for future years.
Partners Evening 2004: Council agreed in principle to Wildernesse in the possible absence of Harvey’s preferred alternative.
Secretary.
No nominations made for voting delegates at the RIBI Conference. Volunteers would be canvassed among prospective attenders.
Club newsletter: we have received a complimentary note from the District Secretary.
Chislehurst Club: a raid will be arranged for the New Year.
Canterbury Oast Trust: a plea for donations has been received and will be circulated.
Treasurer.
Club A/c balance £2463.40, Charity A/c balance £468.37.
The Club Accounts for 2002-3 have been audited and will be submitted to the Special General Meeting.
Payments approved to the Royal British Legion, the Scout Group (loan of the marquee for Cyclo-Sportif) and the Borough Green Downs Syndrome speech club.
Membership Service.
There is support for a visit to N. France including a visit to Roubaix.
Raids on Catford, Pantiles, Tunbridge Wells and Maidstone Riverside are being considered.
The committee are thinking about ways to increase membership.
Rotary Centenary: Wildernesse has been booked jointly with Sevenoaks Club for the 19 February 2005.
Community, Vocation and Youth Service.
School interviews: successful, but with some lack of support by pupils the school is reconsidering.
Sail Training: we now have re-made contact with the Association.
The committee will arrange a visit to a re-cycling centre in the New Year.
(There must be a joke in there somewhere. Ed.).
Fund-Raising.
Film show ‘Life in the Hop Fields’ booked for the 6 March 2004.
Cyclo-Sportif: next event booked for 19 September 2004.
International.
Lunch raid on Roubaix possibly 19 January.
Mike now wants money rather than the marmalade jars.
Lille being the European city of Culture 2004, the Lille Rotary Clubs are proposing a tourist weekend with an invitation to all their contact Clubs for 16-17April.
Mike is trying to agree a date for the 2004 visit by Roubaix.
Harare Rotary Club has not yet responded.
Montserrat does not appear to be covered specifically by any of the Library Charitable Trusts.
Disaster Boxes: Ron P is having problems getting the items promised.
Foundation.
Council agreed that there was a need to educate members about Foundation and to this end asked Derek to arrange a ‘Foundation Evening’.
Communications and PR.
Harry and Harvey made it into the Chronicle.
Philip
e-mail from the District Secretary
Dear Ken
I am writing to thank your Club for sending copies of “Amherst News.”? I don’t know if you are the one who actually posts them, but if not would you please thank the person responsible for me.
It’s great to find out what other Clubs are doing and I think Amherst must be one of the most active in the District. I think it also helps to remind the Club members just how hard they work!
One again, my thanks and please keep the copies of “Amherst News” coming.
Jill Welsh
This note is appreciated because it is a tribute to the Club members who provide the copy. My thanks to you all.
And any members who think the copy could be better - let me have some!
Ed.