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Amherst News
December 2005
Editor Ron Adams
This next month we wish a happy birthday to:
Mary Arthur on December 22
Edna Towle on December 26
Gladys Adams on January 2
Jean Wilson on January 5
Jack Wilson on January 16
and Ron Pike on January 17
And our programme will be
21 December, Christmas Party
28 December, NO MEETING
4 January, Business Meeting
11 January, Speaker Vikki Rimmer, a ‘Chronicle’ village correspondent
16 January, District Council Meeting
18 January, Speaker Tom Hart-Dike “World Gardens”
CLUB OFFICERS 2006-7
The following were elected at the Special General Meeting on December 7. We offer our congratulations to them all with our best wishes for the successful execution of their duties.
President Simon Welham
First Vice President Colin Hook
Second Vice President Don Ingram
Secretary John Harland
Treasurer Graham Waldeck
Council Bill Brickell
Tony Kemp
Brian Lawrence
Ken Marsden
Mel Ridout
Grant Walker
Club appointments will be announced in due course.
Yuletide Greetings
The festivities have already started for many of us, Company parties etc well before the big day.
I can report that the club had its own pre-Christmas ‘do' last Friday when Roy and Jack kindly collected Albert and with the addition of Gordon and myself we had a good meal and a pleasant couple of hours at St Julian's.
I am pleased to say that Albert was in good spirits and was looking forward to yet another investigation re his condition at Kent and Sussex Hospital next Tuesday in the hope that the specialist can at last find out what the problem is.
December has been a special month for our club as last Wednesday I had the great pleasure of inducting Edward Oatley into our ranks. Edward has been a Rotarian in all but name for many years with all his charitable work in the community.
Welcome, Edward, I am sure you will enjoy the camaraderie that exists in Amherst.
This Wednesday is the club's Christmas party with half of the entertainment provided by Bart Lawrence son of Brian, plus a pianist. I’m sure it will be a great evening, thanks to Malcolm and Don for their efforts on our behalf.
Finally I would like to wish all members and their families a very happy Christmas and New Year
Derek
Oyez! Oyez!! Oyez!!!
“Christmas comes but once a year” and when it came to the Langley Hotel, Tonbridge on 8th December and found Amherst Inner Wheelers and their partners, it certainly “brought good cheer!”
From President Elizabeth’s welcoming fortified fruit cup through a varied choice three course menu to coffee and mints, the air was filled with chatter and laughter interspersed with the crack of crackers, pops of poppers and the “splurts” of aerobatic balloons as they wove their mischievous way among the diners.
The company of four and twenty (including Victoria Hook – a welcome stand-in for Dad Colin) enjoyed the ambience created by the red and green table decorations, the twinkling lights and the “pot luck” seating arranged by the hotel around three tables.
A pleasing interlude during coffee saw the President formally induct Elaine Hook into membership and presented her with her badge. Tony encouraged the gentlemen to drink a toast to the new member and whimsically observed that with a 9% increase in membership there was a good chance that Inner Wheel Meetings would be at least 9% later in ending!
Thereafter guests mingled between tables to chat; the last of the poppers were popped; Pat Carrie organised a raffle which she won (!); Ray modelled a creation made from two paper hats; Roy continued to experiment with balloon power and Jeanne Stevens encouraged everyone to scour the dining room floor for a lost ear-ring which Mel found in the car park!
Slowly the evening drew to a close with every one commenting on its success and agreeing that it had “brought good cheer!”
Tony
MAIN POINTS FROM THIS MONTH’S COUNCIL
Joint Venture with Sevenoaks Club. Derek is working on an event e.g. with Patricia Stewart (WI Calendar Girl) as a speaker. It is possible that this could be linked with Rockdale fund raising.
A South Africa Project linked with Foundation. Derek will contact the Rotary Clubs of Mooi River and Inchanka Valley when in South Africa in an effort to obtain Foundation monies of $1000 each for projects that these Clubs are organising.
This project will not cost the Club any money as it is linked to monies we have already put in Foundation.
Round Table.
Simon is to address a meeting in the New Year.
Community Service.
A number of initiatives were approved, as detailed in Tony’s Committee report following.
Fund Raising.
A Battle of the Bands in June, a Wine Tasting in March and an Open Gardens event are all being considered.
Amherst, Ohio.
It was reported that they are expressing an interest in their raiding us.
A TV programme which tried to prove something about school standards by getting people of different generations to do each other’s exam papers was predictable enough, especially when a young man faced with his father’s maths paper said “1977? But that’s nearly twenty years ago!”
Thinking of maths, think about this in a quiet moment:
1089
1 Write down any three-digit number where the first and last digits differ by two or more. 2 write it in reverse and subtract the smaller from the larger. 3 to the answer add itself written in reverse order.
The answer is always 1089. Why?
(SEASONAL) SPENDING SPREE
The Chancellor is not the only one to make an autumn statement. Your ComVoc Ed Committee is equally active!
At its recent meeting with a full and comprehensive agenda it recommended to Council the following expenditures from its approved budget.
1. Immediate payments of £200 for the Sevenoaks Preparatory School’s Social Entrepreneurs project and £200 to The Citizens Advice Bureau’s server replacement fund.
2. Future payments of £100 to meet some of the transport costs for pupils from Sevenoaks Primary school to visit their associated school in Roubaix; up to £300 to assist disadvantaged pupils from St John’s School to take part in a residential visit to France and £300 to sponsor a participant (able or disabled) at Handicamp 2006.
3. In addition the committee recommended that, with the President’s and Council’s consent and exceptionally, raffle tickets in support of the Handicamp Programme should be available at the Club’s Christmas Dinner.
Tony.
Holy Helplines
Helplines today are a nuisance,
They’re becoming too often routine;
But imagine one up there in Heaven
If you wish I will capture the scene.
“Hello and we thank you for praying.
To continue, remain on your knees
And select from the following menu
Any one of the options you please.
“Our Angels right now are all busy
Helping sinners who prayed before you.
So hang on, just try to be patient,
You’ll be glad that you did when you do.
“Press 1 if you’re seeking forgiveness,
Press 2 if you’re offering thanks;
Press 3 if you’re only complaining,
Number 4’s for agnostics and cranks.
“Press 5 if you’re wanting Our Father,
Press 6 to consult with His Son;
Press the £ key if you’re frantic
And dying to reach ANYONE.
“Press zero to dial Operator,
If it’s busy don’t panic or fuss;
Just wait and pray again later
Your prayer is important to us.
“Your prayer may perhaps be recorded
And used for staff training on Earth.
To hear psalms while you wait by King David
Please enter the year of your birth.
“Every day you pray except Monday
There’s a chance you may reach someone live.
Please don’t pray before eight in the morning
And there’s nobody here after five.
“Well, thank you again and keep praying,
We do hope you have a nice day.
In the future for aid or for comfort
Remember we’re here, so just pray.”
With acknowledgements to Shoreham Parish Magazine
via Derek
This is your Editor’s 99th newsletter.
One hundred and something by June will be enough for anybody so how about it, budding editors, have a word with Simon before he comes knocking.